The Curse of Hooligan's Bar by Charles E. Fritch

The narrator sits alone at Hooligan's bar on New Year's Eve and orders Martinis. Hooligan gives him a martini "on the house," so he doesn't complain about the drink missing an olive. When the clock strikes twelve and the celebration begins around him, the narrator spots a tiny leprechaun vampire emerge form the cuckoo clock. The narrator, down on his luck, strikes a deal with the his new friend where they will both make it in showbiz. As he goes to tell Hooligan, the bartender stabs the tiny vampire through the heart with a toothpick, thinking he was an olive with his red hair and green get-up.

Pretty good little story. Reads like a long joke with a pretty good punch line at the end.

Chained by Barry N. Malzberg

First-person account from (The Ghost) King Hamlet's perspective. Quickly recounts the entire play and adds a little including an ill-attempt to warn Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. He is joined by Claudius and others in the afterlife and there are references to Macbeth.

Superbly humorous tone (Refers to both Ophelia and Gertrude as bitches!). Great treat for Hamlet fans, or any fan of the Bard for that matter. Drops the Elizabethan language and does some plain-prose satire. Great fun.

Hail to the Chief by Ray Bradbury

A government official is awoken in the middle of the night and told that thirteen senators have lost the entire U.S. at the Pocahontas Big Red Indian Casino to Chief Iron Cloud. The President of the United States arrives at the casino and scolds the senators. Chief Iron Cloud enters the room and through an interpreter offers the President one last game of chance to win back the U.S. His terms: Lose, Iron Cloud keeps the U.S. and the President must build casinos, schools, and colleges in all fifty states throughout the Indian Territories. Win, and the president gets back the states, but must still build on the Territories. They play blackjack and the President wins, although he never sees the Chief’s cards. The Chief asks for $26.97 for Manhattan and tells the President that he hopes he will build many ships for his journey to wherever he came from. When the President says that we are not going anywhere, the Chief replies, “Oh no?” The President and his senators sneak out, tales between their legs.

Great satire. I love this story. Smart, funny, and piercing critique of the harsh treatment of Native Americans. Expertly titled as well.